It's something all my friends know about me. If you just are a friend, I seem easy to get along with. The closer, though, the more everyone realizes I'm not. I have fights with my closest friends often, but it hurts me everytime. I just feel like an idiot, because I always cause it.

I feel like I was doing better without friends, than with them. All I am doing is hurting my friends and myself. And all I keep thinking is "Maybe I should tell them not to be my friend? To forget about me, ignore me." And I am to the point now, where I feel as though I have to tell them. I don't want to bother anyone anymore. I'm tired of crying everytime my friends and I don't get along. I'm tired of a repeating record telling me how much of a failure I am.

No, this isn't an emo entry. I feel as though I must say this...if I don't, it'll just be another burden. I love my friends, as much as I love my family, which is more than anything else in the world. My friends are my family. But I love them so much, I don't want them to have to deal with me, I don't want to always upset them. Maybe I just need time alone. Maybe I just need to talk to someone.

The only thing I want, is for my friends to be happy. And if that requires me to never talk to them again, I will never talk to them again. They have always been there for me, but I have failed all of them. I'm sorry everyone. I'm sorry Trevor. I'm sorry Angelyn. And the ones I am most sorry for, are the closest people to me, I'm so sorry Tristan, Marissa, and Callie. I'm not asking for forgiveness, only wanting for everyone to know I care about them, and that I don't mean to be an idiot, and that I don't want to be a failure, and I don't want to be the little disagreeable b**** everybody knows I am.

So if any of you guys read this, please know I am sorry, and that I love you guys. But maybe it's time that we stop being friends.

For my watchers that read my journals, if any, I'm sorry you guys had to read a depressing journal. I'm working on a few things I'll be uploading soon, which is some good news. Now that marching season is over, I'll have some free time.

Thank you for those of you that read this. Love you guys. <3